I have more paper, and can finish my tale of the monster in the laprint [labyrinth].
There was living at that time a young gib cat called Teasel. He was nowt to look at, being of a brownie hue, but he was stout of heart.
He had a good place with a spinster.
When he came to her house as a little kitling and first saw her dog, he bristled up. She sayt he looked like one of the teasel heads that fullers use to brush their cloth, and so she named him Teasel Puss.
One night a cat gave newes that the Man-Bull’s mother was looking for more young cats.
And a cat who had employment in the alehouse sayt he heard that once she had cats enough, she lured them into the laprint where the Man-Bull was lodged. She promised them games, and a good dinner.
Her monstrous son played with them a while, then changed hisself from bull above and man below to man above and bull below. And ate them, every one.
Other cats sayt this was nowt but beer talk.
Teasel offered to go to the laprint and learn the truth of it.
Some cats cried: You have a place now. Wherefore [why] seek you one that another cat might have?
A wise few begged him to stay at home, saying the alehouse cat spoke true.
Teasel stood firm. He called for eight young he-cats and nine young she-cats to join him.
Then he told all the bold cats who came forward to drink as much water as they might before their journey, and hold it in as best they could. And when he left his spinster’s house he carried in his mouth a great ball of her yarn.
He sayt it was a gift for the Man-Bull.
The Man-Bull’s mother led the cats into the laprint. Teasel walked beside her with the yarn. The other cats came soft behind. Teasel had told them to take it in turn to raise a tail or squat to mark each corner. And to rub their faces against the wall along the way.
As they neared the centre of the laprint, they could hear the Man-Bull bellowing. The wicked woman ran off, for she feared her son.
Teasel sayt he would go first to greet him.
The monster was in bull shape above his middle, and seemed most amiable. They played with the yarn, and Teasel wound it around his forelegs.
Then the Man-Bull tired of the game and changed hisself about, man above and bull below. He made to seize Teasel with his hands and devour him.
But his wrists were bound tight with yarn.
Teasel gave a great screech, and leapt upon the monster’s back. He sank his teeth into his neck. The other cats came running. They bit and clawed that Man-Bull till he fell, bleeding from a thousand wounds.
Then Teasel called: Flee! You’ve marked the corners we must turn, and left your scents along the walls. Follow your marks to ‘scape this laprint!
All ran and came safe home.
Though, to speak true, some had mothers who were not joyed to see them. They sayt: What? You here again? I thought you had employment.
But when word spread that they’d slain the Man-Bull, all were offered places in good households.
And Teasel’s mistress never arrkst where was her ball of yarn.
When Gib describes Teasel’s mistress as a spinster he’s giving her occupation, i.e. a woman who earns her living by spinning. She may have been unmarried, but could have been married, or a widow.
In Gib’s day, the word was used with its traditional meaning, although its more “modern” one was creeping into use. It became a legal definition of marital status in the 17th century.
I don’t know what sources (other than Ovid’s Metamorphoses) Gib derived his tale from. The Minotaur is traditionally portrayed with a bull’s head. Ovid describes him as half-bull and half-man, but doesn’t say which half was which. Gib’s Minotaur seems to have a degree of choice.
The photo above showing a Minotaur with large felines may hint at a legend Gib knew, but we don’t. Perhaps a cat called Teasel Puss was the true hero, but Theseus took the credit?
The Earl of Southampton's Cat 
I am enjoying these adventures although doubtless I’ll have nightmares!
Was there a minotaur and labyrinth in Britain? I thought only on Crete and yet you have a Roman frieze?? I see I need to research it. : )
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You’re right – the classic Theseus and the Minotaur story is definitely set on Crete. The Minotaur’s mother was the wife of King Minos of Crete. (Gib departed from tradition by making her an unmarried milkmaid.)
Ovid was a Roman, born around 43 B.C. However, the stories he collected for the “Metamorphoses” are much older than that, and mainly from Greek poets (I think).
The “Metamorphoses” were popular Renaissance reading. Shakespeare used Ovid as a source, so Gib’s in good company.
But I’m puzzled by the appearance of the big cats alongside the Minotaur in the fragment of Roman frieze, because Gib’s version of the Minotaur story is the first I’ve come across that has cats in it!
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Check out the asiatic lion in Ancient Greece. These could be your felines. I’m reminded of the Minoan civilisation and it’s myths by Gib’s stories. Theseus as you’re probably aware, was given thread by the enraptured Ariadne so as to find his way out of the labyrinth – parallels there.
I’m finding your posts very entertaining. Thanks for the extra information.
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Ariadne’s thread would have been Gib’s inspiration for Teasel’s ball of yarn. Though that’s not what a cat would need to leave a trail through a labyrinth, so Teasel used it to tie up the Minotaur instead. Theseus sounds like a nasty bit of work – having survived the labyrinth, he ditched Ariadne as soon as he could. Gib’s Teasel Puss is much more likeable.
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You’re right about that. Those Ancient Greek characters were a fickle lot. Even their myths are varied in versions.
I remember something from my ancient history days about many animals becoming extinct because of Roman spectacles in the colosseum. They imported animals including lions from all over the Roman Empire for their games. Could this be the inspiration for that frieze?
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Yes – the combination of exotic animals and monsters could well have been a popular decorative theme in ancient Rome.
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…the cannibalism was rife, in them days…these days it manifests in many ugly ways, as you would probably know, I’m sure. Kitling…much nicer than kitten.
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“Kitling” seems to have been the Elizabethan term for what we call kittens. Yes, it’s a delightful word!
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I say, bring back more ‘delightful’ words…BTW, I enjoyed the story. You have a great imagination.
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Thanks! But I’m just the humble editor of Gib’s memoirs; the imagination is all his. 🙂
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He is becoming quite a storyteller!
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Yes, now he’s got over his adolescent angst and learnt to view himself as an entertainer, His Gibship is definitely maturing as a storyteller. Where will his Maggot (or what we would call his Muse) take him next?
🙂
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We’ll see.
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ZuZu and Roxie are really enjoying this Tale, but today they actually jumped and danced around and cheered (meeeoowed!) for Teasel Puss. ZuZu is convinced they are related because of the resemblance to her baby pictures.
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Zuzu wasn’t offended by Gib’s description of Teasel as being “nowt to look at”? Though on reflection, I can see she wouldn’t have been. While Gib may think that only cats with grey-blue dapples are worth looking at, Zuzu would think that being brown in hue is the mark of true beauty!
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Absolutely! One of the new books in the series (not yet published) is about ZuZu’s encounter with another animal and their differing views on what constitutes beauty and ugliness. Her Mama, of course, helps to guide her through this conundrum.She loves Teasel.
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very enjoyable–though I would always prefer even a man-bull to stay alive!
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True – I felt a little sorry for him myself!
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